


Baby Steps

by lou2



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kid Fic, Schmoop, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15198221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lou2/pseuds/lou2
Summary: Shikamaru the Babysitter?!





	Baby Steps

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to LJ in May 2008, moved here to save it.
> 
> I have no idea if Asuma's kid ever got a name or any actual page time in the manga. I stopped reading around the time of the 5 Hokage's summit. But at the time this was written all we knew was that Kurenai was pregnant.
> 
> Written for Naruto Contest and the quote - "Wit is educated insolence." - Aristotle
> 
> Not that anyone cares but for my own records, this story actually won that week, which I was incredibly proud of.

How can I be considered a genius and lazy? Don’t those two somehow cancel each other out? If I had to choose, it would definitely be lazy. No one expects anything from you when you’re lazy. It’s just too troublesome to be an intellect.  
  
However, even more troublesome than the effort that comes with being perceived a genius, was the work that I had inexplicably inherited from being funny. Well not funny in the normal ha, ha sense of the word. I mean certainly my team mates never found me particularly funny. I was much too laid back. The Genin I taught obviously never found me funny, because more often than not I was calmly berating them for some stupid move. I was far from funny to the Hokage and the jounin I work with; especially since I was frequently asleep when they wanted me for a job.  
  
No, I definitely wasn’t the hilarious sort of funny. What I was, however, was the only freaking man in the entire Leaf Village that could make one certain little baby boy happy. Scratch that, not just man; the only damn person in Konoha who his mother would leave him with.

I don’t know how it happened. Maybe it was all those trips to see her and check on her when she was pregnant. We’d talk for hours; some nights, mostly about Asuma, other times about the baby and what Kurenai would do once it arrived.

Long before the little squirt was born she had decided to resume her duties as a jounin as soon as she was able. I helped her plan and make arrangements and find good reliable child care. I figured she was all set. I’d done what I could for her and the baby to ensure they’d both be happy, or as happy as they could be without Asuma to love them.

I did everything I thought Asuma would have wanted me to do, without intruding on Kurenai’s feelings. I stood by her head and held her hand during labor. Not one of my more genius moves. Who knew a woman having a baby could cuss that loudly or break two of your fingers during a contraction? I learn fast though. I certainly won’t be repeating that particular mistake in the future.

After the baby was born I helped settle her back in at home. I shopped for her food supplies, diapers and what not. I slept on the couch and took at least one feeding a night with breast milk from the refrigerator. I can tell you that was a weird experience.

I walked the baby often during the day so Kurenai could take a nap and recover faster. He was such a easy going, happy little tyke.

Gradually as the weeks passed, I began backing away to leave mother and child to find their own means in this world without the man who should have been there to love and care for them both.

As long as they were together, everything was normal and they seemed fine. The real problem didn’t start until the nanny started coming around to watch the little menace. He hated her. In fact, he hated them all. So, out with the dirty diapers went all the precious time and hundreds of interviews I’d conducted to find the perfect nannies. All because one tiny little person could scream loud enough to be heard across the village when he was unhappy.

What I didn’t count on was the little pain in the butt being so manipulative at such a tiny size and young age. Every time Kurenai got ready to leave the pest with a nanny, he would scream to beat the band. So after dozens of abortive attempts, Kurenai absolutely had to get out of the house or go crazy. I figured it couldn’t hurt to watch the baby. He’d always been fine for me during walks and such, so I gave it a shot.

He was an angel for me, just as he’d always been. I was puzzled, but thought maybe a male nanny was what he needed. Maybe the only woman he’d have was his mom and no others would do. I could understand that. So I spent a couple more weeks scraping up and interviewing any man I thought would make a suitable nanny.

It was a colossal failure just like before. This tiny baby was holding his mom hostage at home and if she wanted any freedom, I was the only one he would deign to accept.

It couldn’t possibly be my witty personality, or stunning conversations. I wasn’t hilarious or even very entertaining. What I was, was boring and lazy. Why was I the only one who was acceptable? It wasn’t my genius status because Sasuke and Neji were at least as brilliant as me and they’d both failed miserably as babysitters. It couldn’t be the slapstick comedy and funny faces he wanted because Choji and Kiba had also both crashed and burned.

Whatever quality, it was eluding me. In the end, Kurenai and I simply alternated our work schedules and out of town missions. The ruler of the house had spoken and no one else would do.

The first time he clenched his tiny little fist around my finger and smiled up at me, I decided I could live with it. The first time he giggled just for me, I decided the little bugger had done me a favor. He had basically cut my workload in half and filled the rest of my days with smiles and laughter and of course lots and lots of sitting around and staring at clouds.

I decided being a lazy genius with the unknown quality to keep one little person happy, was probably all I really needed right now. Maybe the little monster wasn’t so troublesome after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you happened to read this and liked it, a kudos would be happily appreciated.
> 
> Comments are wonderful, but completely unnecessary.


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